SLEEP WELL WHEN THINGS ARE ROUGH
This morning I awoke at 2:00 a.m., mind churning with all I’d heard about the divisive politics of our time. I didn’t get back to sleep till 4:30.
Whatever our minds are engaged with before we go to bed is what we tend to carry with us into the night. Then, in the silence of darkness, somehow the feelings we have, especially when there’s fear or anger, tend to get magnified. Fear or anger create adrenalin; adrenalin stops you sleeping. I had been listening to commentary on the news just before going to bed and this is what I woke up with at 2:00 a.m.
The logical answer? Don’t listen to the news before going to bed!
“Hey, but wait,” I tell myself, “I need to know what the news is.”
Well, says the voice of reason, how often do you need to keep up with the news? News is supposed to be new, but when you listen to the news frequently, what you get is olds. You see and hear events repeated over and over from different people and from slightly different angles. Your knowledge is hardly being expanded, but your outrage is, and of course outrage increases viewership, clicks, sales – and insomnia. So, how often?
“OK,” I admit, “I guess once a day is enough.”
Ah, says the slightly annoying voice of reason, then make sure you schedule that time in the morning, afternoon or early evening.
“How early is ‘early’?” I question grumpily.
Give yourself two hours of divisiveness-free time before going to sleep. You’ll sleep better.
“I know from experience that this is true for me,” I said, “but I don’t always do it.”
That’s because, explained the annoyingly helpful voice of reason, it is easier to keep replaying our habits even if we know they hurt us. It takes a little effort to change our habits. But once we institute our new habit in those last two hours of our day — a habit of doing tasks, having conversations, reading and seeing information that’s uplifting — it becomes pleasant and quite easy.
[For more on habits and how to change them I recommend James Clear]
“But wait,” I continue, “I wasn’t actually watching the evening news, I was watching a really entertaining late night talk show that, well, satirized the news.”
The same applies: if you want to sleep long and deep, don’t watch anything on those shows that gets you mad or worried before going to bed. Since you often don’t know what’s coming in those shows, it’s not so easy to avoid adrenalin-inducing divisiveness, unless you desist altogether. Or, you could choose particular interviews or sections that have a good chance of being non-divisive and then make sure your clip doesn’t run on into something else.
“But I like watching those shows, and satirizing other people’s divisiveness can be a lot of fun.”
That’s fine, you can have it both ways: you can sleep well and enjoy any amount of divisiveness in full unexpurgated late night shows - just so long as you don’t watch them late at night! It’s a little scheduling adjustment. Watch them in the morning or afternoon or, if you have to, early evening.
When I succeed in desisting from being a mouse in a glue-trap of news, I do tend to sleep and feel better. I find it works well for me to only hear headlines once a day, and then, for more in-depth content, move to a weekly non-partisan — i.e. not riling-with-divisiveness — news source that summarizes different points of view. Sometimes I watch late night shows while I’m working out in the early morning. As for the evening, my rule — which I follow sometimes, making exceptions for social and other reasons — is to make the last two hours before going to bed kind of sacrosanct. Meaning that in those last two hours I avoid, so far as I can, churning my mind with divisive topics, and, instead, focus on things that are neutral, relaxing and/or uplifting.
EXERCISE:
Try this as an experiment. In the last two hours before you go to bed, experiment with any or all of the following:
In the last two hours before going to bed, avoid:
watching programs that are divisive and may stoke worry, fear, anger or “how-could-they?!”s
reading books or articles that are divisive and may stoke worry, fear, anger or “how-could-they?!”s.
reading or watching thrillers that increase your heart rate.
aerobic exercise - which increases adrenalin output. (You know if your exercise is aerobic if it gets you out of breath. Aerobic exercise earlier in the day helps you sleep more deeply.)
coffee, caffeinated tea, hard cheese and more-than-a-little chocolate, all of which tend to be stimulating. (For most people it is better to avoid caffeine after lunch as it tends to linger in the body. Even those who say they sleep fine after drinking coffee in the afternoon or at night, tend to sleep less deeply as measured by EEG recordings.)
anything that riles or churns your mind.
Do any of the following in the last 2 hours before going to bed:
mental tasks that are relaxing.
physical tasks that do not get you out of breath (since aerobic exercise increases adrenalin output and adrenalin tends to keep you awake - but aerobic exercise earlier in the day tends to make you sleep better)
exercises that are centering or relaxing (e.g. yoga, tai ji, relaxation techniques)
enjoyable hobbies
have conversations with your loved one(s)
play or listen to relaxing music.
write down three things that happened that day that you are grateful for (this is especially effective last thing before bed).
If you are worried about the many things you need to get done (a worry that might carry into your sleep), list the many things, prioritize the list, and schedule your prioritized items in a timeframe that is doable. At the very least, write down the list so that you don’t go to sleep worrying about whether you might forget something that is important to you.
And/or many other things that you find relaxing or uplifting.